She is attractive and free. You are damn attractive and free – why would you want to waste time? However, you still have to comply with several rules of relationships without obligations or attachments.
Friends-with-benefits sex or sex without obligations exists and has every right to. But we are all about regular meetings of two free people who are associated exclusively in a friendly way. Periodic sex has turned into the fact that you are actually becoming really close to each other. So that these mutual pleasures do not end up in a sea of blood, the main thing is to avoid emotional habitude after you start building relationships as lovers, or if emotions leap from one partner to the other you might embark on a path of pain and suffering. “Over the years I’ve been in contact with many older people who have had casual attitudes and relationships with friends. In fact, they did not have a permanent relationship in mind at all and everything was fine,” says the relationship expert and co-author of “It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date» Andrea Sirtash. Problems begin when one secretly (or openly) begins to want more than sex.” So before you go to bed with your beautiful friend, you should check some rules.
Make sure that you perceive the situation equally
“Everything may happen: a party, an easy flirt, an extra glass – and now you are shaking the walls of your bedroom (as an option – the toilet cubicle of the club). However, if a similar thing begins to repeat itself with an enviable periodicity, one of you with a high probability will flare feelings towards the other partner. It is better to act in an honest way and discuss all possible developments immediately after the first sexual experience together,”- says a specialist in family relationships and sex therapist Marissa Nelson.
Establish the rules for behavior
Discuss and establish basic rules of conduct in public places. Do not constantly stroke each other’s various baby-making places and thus show others that you are connected to something more than just coffee breaks and friendly attitudes. “And even more, you should not discuss your intimate attitudes with other friends, if you do not prefer to become heroes of gossip and anecdotes.”
Mark the boundaries for yourself
Before signing up for sex without commitment, be honest first of all with yourself about your true goals and boundaries. If your completely honest, you will feel comfortable not going beyond these limitations.
Answer honestly the following questions:
- What do you feel if you see your friend with another partner?
- How will you break up with her? After all, one of you will eventually find a partner for a serious relationship.
- How will you feel when this happens?
Never lie even if it is a lie to save the feelings of your friend. If you do not like something, talk about it right away because this practice is usually done between friends anyway. However, complete honest does not always exist between lovers. Remember that all this was made solely for mutual pleasure and so that each of you had the opportunity to periodically relax from your routines and realize your own sexual fantasies. And if you decided to quit the game, do not wait for a long time.”
Correct your relationship as needed
There is nothing wrong with revising your initial agreements on a bilateral basis. If you feel that there is more than just friendly sex between you, you may try to give up meetings for a while, or let each other cancel a date without explaining the reason. The main thing is to discuss all matters together. If you cannot avoid emotional attachment, then it is really better for you to forget about intimate acts. Your friendship may come to an end if you don’t consider this warning.